Picking names took us ages and so much longer than I / we expected! There won't be any 'reveals' in this blog by the way, I'm very much of the opinion that I don't want to refer to our little person until they're here and like I've heard a few people say, if someone dislikes the names you've picked (not that we would care in any way as of course it's a very personal thing), they're less likely to pull the 'ugh, hate that name' face once it's physically attached to a teeny tot.
We first started talking names about three months in - past the 'safe' stage. It was during a trip to Wales in the car - following the obligatory singing of a rock ballad / duet on Smooth FM - standard! I had started a little list on my phone and read each name out. I was rather proud of my choices and was feeling pretty sure that Mr J would agree with a name for each sex and there we go, job done. Ha ha ha ha haaaa. We ended up with a shortlist of about three names in total (not even per sex!), and even then I'd started to go off some of the names on the now micro list myself...so it was back to the drawing board.
A few weeks later, I came home to a little tub with pieces of paper in and was asked to pull them out one by one and read them aloud for us to discuss. I was given the instruction of not pulling my face at any of them but to at least try and be diplomatic and open minded - it was hard not to at some of them but I behaved (ish) and read each one out. I couldn't not laugh at one of the names however - he'd tried to make a little event of the name choosing, bless him, he's really lovely when it comes to sentimental moments like this, but when one of the names he'd entered was basically a huge-haired 80's popstar slash Eastenders trollop, I couldn't tell whether it was a joke to see how I'd react or whether he'd written it as a mistake. It wasn't a joke it seems. Or a mistake. But I did laugh. Lots. I won't mention the name for fear of offending anyone(!) but needless to say the piece of paper with THAT name on was screwed up and tossed aside!
There were two names he'd entered however that had also been in my original list and that just 'sat' with both of us, one for each sex, and so we took that as a sign that they were the 'meant to be' names and the job was done. We had our names.
Having never had a middle name myself and with my original, maiden initials of 'LL', I didn't want my child to be without one and so the thinking caps went back on for those. (Footnote: My dad even joked recently that my middle name should've been 'Olive', so that my maiden initials were 'LOL' - it would have been fitting for me, I have to say!)
Choosing middle names was a tough one too. Mr J actually goes by his middle name, his official forename being a traditional passed-down family name - a name of which his dad, cousins and uncle also have. It's such a lovely sentiment and a great tradition, particularly as the name in question is his Grandad's of who was a huge pillar of his community, was incredibly well thought of in the area, he was practically a local celebrity and sounded like a bloomin' fabulous chap all round. However, there have been impracticalities of this ie. post - when Mr J lived at home it wasn't always clear whether the post was for him or his dad, unless their middle initial was also stated - which it wasn't always; hospitals - it seems that the hubbie had two medical files - one in his actual name (first name, middle name, surname) and the other in his not-so-actual-name but the name everyone knows him as (middle name (but referred to name), surname). It has also meant that we have had to continually remember to state his official name in any official documents, which isn't always easy! This caused problems when he paid his student loan off and was owed money back - not helped by the fact that his old bank account into which his student loan was originally paid, and subsequently the over-payment paid back into, differed from his official name and so a happy bunny he wasn't! So you can imagine why, as lovely as it is, should we have a boy, I've managed to persuade him that we don't follow the tradition but will happily accept the tradition by means of a middle name and a compromise!
During a recent night out with my sister in law, we also discussed all the ins and outs of name choosing. There are so many unwritten rules, it's a wonder anyone has a name at all and we don't just shout "oi, you" at one another! The choices are made even harder when you're pretty much the last of your family and friends to 'pro-create' meaning loads of names have already gone!
She and I discussed a few of the things to consider, as follows:
- It's best to pick a name that you can shout 'nicely' across a park and that doesn't make you sound like a rogue character from 'Corrie' - especially with such a broad, Northern accent. Certain names can look lovely on paper and sound beautiful when said by someone else but when shouted with an accent......not so nice!
There were two names he'd entered however that had also been in my original list and that just 'sat' with both of us, one for each sex, and so we took that as a sign that they were the 'meant to be' names and the job was done. We had our names.
Having never had a middle name myself and with my original, maiden initials of 'LL', I didn't want my child to be without one and so the thinking caps went back on for those. (Footnote: My dad even joked recently that my middle name should've been 'Olive', so that my maiden initials were 'LOL' - it would have been fitting for me, I have to say!)
Choosing middle names was a tough one too. Mr J actually goes by his middle name, his official forename being a traditional passed-down family name - a name of which his dad, cousins and uncle also have. It's such a lovely sentiment and a great tradition, particularly as the name in question is his Grandad's of who was a huge pillar of his community, was incredibly well thought of in the area, he was practically a local celebrity and sounded like a bloomin' fabulous chap all round. However, there have been impracticalities of this ie. post - when Mr J lived at home it wasn't always clear whether the post was for him or his dad, unless their middle initial was also stated - which it wasn't always; hospitals - it seems that the hubbie had two medical files - one in his actual name (first name, middle name, surname) and the other in his not-so-actual-name but the name everyone knows him as (middle name (but referred to name), surname). It has also meant that we have had to continually remember to state his official name in any official documents, which isn't always easy! This caused problems when he paid his student loan off and was owed money back - not helped by the fact that his old bank account into which his student loan was originally paid, and subsequently the over-payment paid back into, differed from his official name and so a happy bunny he wasn't! So you can imagine why, as lovely as it is, should we have a boy, I've managed to persuade him that we don't follow the tradition but will happily accept the tradition by means of a middle name and a compromise!
During a recent night out with my sister in law, we also discussed all the ins and outs of name choosing. There are so many unwritten rules, it's a wonder anyone has a name at all and we don't just shout "oi, you" at one another! The choices are made even harder when you're pretty much the last of your family and friends to 'pro-create' meaning loads of names have already gone!
She and I discussed a few of the things to consider, as follows:
- It's best to pick a name that you can shout 'nicely' across a park and that doesn't make you sound like a rogue character from 'Corrie' - especially with such a broad, Northern accent. Certain names can look lovely on paper and sound beautiful when said by someone else but when shouted with an accent......not so nice!
- You don't want too popular a name for fear of the entire class being called the same. I was one of three Louise's in my class and my brother one of four Chris's. How I didn't have a nervous breakdown at my lack of name originality and lack of middle name is beyond me (#FirstWorldProblems!) - I joke with my mum and dad about this too, so if you're reading this, I've grown to love it, don't worry :)
- With two best friends and two extended family members also currently pregnant - three of the four whom are due to give birth BEFORE us, it's best to have stand-in names in the event our names are 'nicked' before our very eyes ;) This will give us huge problems being that we don't have any stand-in names!
- With two best friends and two extended family members also currently pregnant - three of the four whom are due to give birth BEFORE us, it's best to have stand-in names in the event our names are 'nicked' before our very eyes ;) This will give us huge problems being that we don't have any stand-in names!
- You can't have a name that is destined for Eton, when in fact, they're going to be going to school in the North West...you can of course, but be prepared to hire a counsellor!
- Celebrity / famous names. Now, whilst we didn't actively look at any in this category, we did find that there were certain names that we fell in love with only to realise that we couldn't particularly use them due to our surname being Jones, for example:
* Jessica Jones - There's a new Netflix series out with this name
* Grace Jones - Crazy, singer lady
* India Jones - We LOVED this name and were so close to sticking with it. Not only do we think it's a beautiful name but India is a place we both love, having both been independently and together but, no. There's the Temple of Doom and Raiders of the Lost Ark films to consider! Doh!
* Thomas Jones - "It's not unusual..."
* Jack Jones - There's a song lyric, a shop and the fact that it's cockney rhyming slang for being on your own! No.
- Celebrity / famous names. Now, whilst we didn't actively look at any in this category, we did find that there were certain names that we fell in love with only to realise that we couldn't particularly use them due to our surname being Jones, for example:
* Jessica Jones - There's a new Netflix series out with this name
* Grace Jones - Crazy, singer lady
* India Jones - We LOVED this name and were so close to sticking with it. Not only do we think it's a beautiful name but India is a place we both love, having both been independently and together but, no. There's the Temple of Doom and Raiders of the Lost Ark films to consider! Doh!
* Thomas Jones - "It's not unusual..."
* Jack Jones - There's a song lyric, a shop and the fact that it's cockney rhyming slang for being on your own! No.
- There are then things that are personal to one party but not another. For example, I absolutely loved the name Freya, but it turns out this is also the name of an IT project at my husband's company, so that one soon lost its sparkle! Or maybe one of you loves a name but another hates it because you knew a slapper down the road with that name or a junkie boy. Those names soon lose their sparkle too!
- During a meal out with my best friend, it also turns out that initials are a consideration too. Names with middle names may be all very fair, well and lovely, but put the initials together and it's a bit of a bugger if those turn out to be S O D or P O O. In our case, with a J-starting surname, we need to avoid the likes of F A J or B O J.
Yep, it was a tough old one but fingers crossed we get to keep one of the two names we've got! It would be just our luck that a brand new horror film comes out the same week as it's born and of the same name! Please. God. No. Can someone please send me a Deed Poll link just in case? ;)
Don't even start me on the whole, 'but it doesn't look like a [insert name]' once we see him / her for the first time!
And don't worry, mum, (and here was something else to consider, albeit a tiny thing!) if you ARE in fact reading this, the framed Scrabble names piece you have in the hall with all our names on (for those who don't know, my mum was once given a lovely gift from a friend with all our names on spelled out in Scrabble letters - mum, dad, me brother, hubbie, sister in law, niece, nephew, our dog, brother's dog - given at a time when I think everyone had lost all hope or belief that we'd be adding to our brood!) - I've checked, mum, and the letters of our two names (girl or boy) would fit alongside the others, so please don't anyone nick our names. Life is tough enough ;) I thank you...
Yep, it was a tough old one but fingers crossed we get to keep one of the two names we've got! It would be just our luck that a brand new horror film comes out the same week as it's born and of the same name! Please. God. No. Can someone please send me a Deed Poll link just in case? ;)
Don't even start me on the whole, 'but it doesn't look like a [insert name]' once we see him / her for the first time!
And don't worry, mum, (and here was something else to consider, albeit a tiny thing!) if you ARE in fact reading this, the framed Scrabble names piece you have in the hall with all our names on (for those who don't know, my mum was once given a lovely gift from a friend with all our names on spelled out in Scrabble letters - mum, dad, me brother, hubbie, sister in law, niece, nephew, our dog, brother's dog - given at a time when I think everyone had lost all hope or belief that we'd be adding to our brood!) - I've checked, mum, and the letters of our two names (girl or boy) would fit alongside the others, so please don't anyone nick our names. Life is tough enough ;) I thank you...
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